Antagonist Problemos

Hello peeps! Remember when I did the Protagonist Problemos ? Well I figured it was time for the second and final chapter. Best book ever huh?

What shall I begin with… hmm… *wheels in the head spinning* *comes apart because I can’t think for that long*

#1– The antagonist’s self esteem issue. In every book it’s clear as the color of dirt the reason they are the way they are is because of some deep seeded problem. Per example: Wait let me set the scene first for you.

Narrator hehe me: In a small town in West “By God” Virginia their once lived a dumpling who lived their life kissing up to the person who couldn’t return their love. Inside they knew but on the outside they created the perfect illusion.

S.E.I character: O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? *looks to the guy who she believes she has control of*

Male Protagonist: *slides over with caution* Are you on something?

S.E.I character: *wants to say ‘yes, my love for you’ but ends up ogling the guy*

Male Protagonist: Woah. Who’s that? *his eyes almost pop out of his eye sockets*

S.E.I character: It’s me silly. I mean I know I got a new haircut…

Female Protagonist: Hey I just moved in next door. I’m Katy. Do you guys know where I can find a place that sells gardening tools?

S.E.I character: (if eyes were lasers she would’ve turned Katy into smithereens)

Male Protagonist: Yeah I’ll take you. *motions for Katy to follow him*

S.E.I character: *writes on to-do list to crush the skank*

#2– Gets in the way of the main characters moments. It’s absolutely infuriating when this buffoonery goes on. I understand how it must feel like to see your crush with another girl but for GOODNESS CHEESE’S SAKE GO AWAY. They aren’t thick headed or anything but they sure can act like it. Remembering now the time the front stage characters almost had a cute moment makes me… hate/love the antagonist more. It’s the most complicated relationship I’ve ever had.

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I’d love that babe but I gotta finish this post.

#3– You do not know how the author is gonna finish their story. In more than I can count they were killed. Sometimes and only once in a millennium do they change and join the H.E.A. Not knowing what will happen gets my face to turn the shade of a baboon’s butt. I can draw a graph and figure out the probability but that’s work and energy I should be using when I ‘rigorously study’.

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Thank you for reading! Any thoughts on antagonists? Comment below! And from nine a.m. here in my woman cave, DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS. 

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